A skull walked into a bar...

No really. Leah has proof.

Weird night...

Lea-turds

I have resented the resurgence of leotards as a fashion item. This is partly because much of it can be accredited to Dov Charney King Skeez of the Skeez's and his American Apparel empire.

Alas, I actually need one. I start my Ballet class tomorrow and have to go search for one today. Ideally one that is long enough in the torso, isn't indecently low cut...in the front or the back, or too high cut on the legs but at the same time isn't something a 5 year old would wear.

Basically, nothing that screams hot-dirty-sex:

rainbow-bright:

Something in the middle. Like flirty-frolic with sunshine. (Sunshine could be a cute boy...I am flexible.)

I am up for the challenge. So is Leah. She should actually photograph this journey. It could actually be really entertaining given what I have found online so far.

Speaking of King Skeez...The Jezebel ladies did a nice expose on Dov. Their articles read like a sophisticated soap opera. Hunker down with a glass of pinot and enjoy the afternoon with

this

this

this

this

& my favorite.

Snow

It is snowing. In Oregon. In March.

Conversations...

Setting....waiting for the loo. Yes, I am waiting to use the restroom.

Dude: It's my birthday.
Jess: Happy Birthday.
Dude: Guess how old I am.
Jess: Umm, 28?
Dude: Nooooooo.
Jess: How old are you?
Dude: 32.
Jess: Nice.
(Bathroom opens. I go half way in.)
Dude: Has anyone ever told you that you have a beautiful nose. It is like cinematic beautiful (he. touches. my. nose).
Jess: I have never gotten cinematic before. That is new.
Dude: I mean your whole face is beautiful but your nose is just angular and beautiful I mean every part. (leans in to touch again as I slowly keep moving into the restroom.)
Jess: Umm, thanks. I'm going now.


Note to boys: not okay!

Bummer.

Last night I lost the tantalus key from my favorite necklace. I'm really bummed. I lost it between leaving a bar and arriving home. Could be on a street, could be at the bar, could be in my car etc.

The necklace was titled 'key to your heart.' Totally cheesy. I have always hated that. Especially when boys come up and say "is that the key to your heart" and then take it and mime unlocking.

Gross.

So yes folks, I have lost the key to my heart.

Ha.

(I miss my long hair.)

Comcast has been blocking bittorrent packets...

This is what I picture.

On another note, supposedly Cristiano Renaldo is my perfect celebrity love match.

I vehemently disagree based purely on the existence of this man.

Kitty Collars

I love how you can pretty much type anything you are looking for into the etsy browser box and instantly find 100s of homemade goodies. I tried cat collars and found the Lucky Fiona shop of custom dog and cat collars.

Ooh la la. I love me some kitty collars.

Charlie bit me remix.

I know everyone went gaga over the cute little brit tots sitting on the chair but I cannot stop laughing at the stoner-college-boy remix.

Maybe it is the dark glasses on the one guy. I don't know. It cracked me up. Still does.

Conversations...

Kel: Man if you were a guy this would have been the hottest date.
Jess: Oh yeah?
Kel: Yep. You greeted me with wine, made me a fancy romantic candle lit meal, drew me a bubble bath so I could decompress and gave me some of your old jammies. Then we cuddled on the couch and watched one of my favorite crap tv shows.
Jess: Ha. I guess you are right. Too bad you're not putting out.

Spoony's

I love these giraffe measuring spoons. They would make my weekend cooking extravaganzas super fun.

Also, How amazing was the art directing for the Anthro home catalogue? Very Michel Gondry.

Topoware

I love the dinner ware from jewelry designer Karola Torkos and industrial designer Alexandra Deschamps-Sonsino. I think the best part is how the 'elevations' are distinguished by who the serving is for. Child, mother or father....

Clever indeed.

9 Heads

I had the book 9 Heads for my Fashion Illustrated class in 2001. I lost it somewhere along the way and kick myself for that weekly. It is such an amazing resource for technical drawing but the best part was it showed every style of details like cuffs and collars, every type of skirt, pants etc.

It comes in handy when I can't remember the name of a certain type of hat that was popularized in the 1930s. Like now.

Where did you go?

Mellow Moods

I have had a weird few days and felt totally bummed out Tuesday. I went for a long run in the pouring rain and listened to rap from my high school days. (You know, stuff like project pat, the click, dead prez, nas, kilo ali....classy stuff.) My ending destination was kk's house. I get there to find her roommates preparing for a talent show.

I decided that staying there and hanging out in a room full of people I don't know would be more cathartic than talking with close friends or staying home with the beasts and trying to get some much needed work done.

There were moments of pure greatness like the guy who chugged a 22 of Guinness in 10 seconds. And the guy who donned a costume composed of spandex, boxer briefs, a fancy women's headress and theatrically hand walked out the door. Or the art school girls who dressed identical to each other and acted out a mirrored-image-improv-dance thing.

I even liked kk's bf's homemade instrument. No really I did. That is genuine.

Then I drove a guest home and we sang 'Take Me Home" by Phil Collins at the top of our lungs and debated whether R. Kelly really is as he says 'the king of r&b.' (We decided he was and sadly-currently, unopposed.)

It all made me feel better. And I had clarity like....get out of my head, stop analyzing, you can't be responsible for other people's bullshit yada yada yada....

That made my Wednesday great!

Yes Please

Who needs an awesome new spring trench for the rainy season?

I do! I do!

(via: sprayglue)

This is nice.

Something like this...

Wardrobe Envy

Jo posted about No Signpost's outfit set. I am really enjoying it.

Can't wait to see what she does next.

I think flickr is my new sartorialist.

Jessica Polka

I have run into her crochet creations in a couple places like the curiosity shop. I think they are pretty neat but wouldn't drop $125 on anything. However, I would spend $3.50 for a pattern to make my own. She sells them on her etsy.

Read her blog and create your own sea kingdom.

(I love her display case of The Elements of Sculptural Crochet.)

For Aly.

For aly ...

my feet look the same in seattle.

xo

Reminder...

To all those in lovely Portlandia...

Read.

Then get tickets.

For reals, it is like cheaper than a movie and worth so much more.

Lost in Translation

I always seem to forget things conveniently.

If you put chocolate in front of my face my instinct is to eat it even though i'm allergic.

Or like how when r says he'll be somewhere in the NW my first inclination is to plan my trip to meet up. Get away for a couple days. I can use the rest. Then return home refreshed and ready to face the world again.

Problem is, I get bored about 5 hours into a 3-day "vacation." I picture myself exploring but I'm not an explorer. I am a homebody. I am a creature of habit. I went out this morning and ate groats at the same place I did last time. I went for the same run to the sculpture park I have for the past 5 years. (Although, now there are sculptures.) I took pictures of the same dino babies and then returned to the hotel. Hotels of a certain variety are all the same to me, tall with bad design and too much cross marketing.

Rad. These visits to strange places with company make me feel like Scarlett Johansson's character in Lost in Translation. You know, minus Bill Murray. Just me. Hotel room. Trying to keep busy. And he is with his people.

Seattle.

I'm off to Seattle for the weekend.

I haven't been out of town for ages or had 3 consecutive days off.

(Not that I won't pay for it when I get back.)

I'm excited about....

The new sneakers I got my car yesterday for the trip.

Visiting with Daniel and eating dinner out.

Going on a run to see the dino babies and the sculpture park every morning.

Shows (actually don't want to see this but they are free tickets. meaning, I can go, hear one song and leave.) & Shows

Spending a lot of time alone doing whatever I want.

And of course, coming back to Portland with only 24 hours until Bon Iver on Monday night :)

xoxo my lovelies.

Jesse Kamm

I love this look from Jesse Kamm.

If I were brave I would wear it Monday but it would be a little much.

Lykke Li

She is coming to the Doug Fir on May 16th.

Holy happiness the music gods are shining down on me.

Download Tonight Here.

xo

Ha! Told you so.

To those that doubted my claims of trace elements of B12 on leafy greens I give you this:

"Feces can contain significant B12. A study has shown that a group of Iranian vegans obtained adequate B12 from unwashed vegetables which had been fertilised with human manure. Faecal contamination of vegetables and other plant foods can make a significant contribution to dietary needs, particularly in areas where hygiene standards may be low. This may be responsible for the lack of aneamia due to B12 deficiency in vegan communities in developing countries."

Next I'll work on finding a scientific journal reference...

Style Mob

How did I miss this?

I love social networking sites that are devoted to an individual's fashion sense.

Sign me up.

Denim Skirt's

I need a new denim skirt. Preferably a mini but not a slutty one by the likes of abercrombie. Something more sophisticated but not too sophisticated.

I like this non mini version by nau. It is made of organic cotton but it is not quite right.

It needs to be about 8 inches shorter. I have a reputation to maintain.

I'm on fire.

Yesterday I stumbled across a cover the Chromatics do of my favorite Bruce Springsteen song, I'm on Fire.

I remember Eric playing it for me in a car a couple year's ago. He said that it reminded him of me. Not sure why.

Anyway...It was the first time I had heard it in year's and it flooded me with feelings of my childhood. Not memories but feelings. Like I was there again. (Anyone know what I mean?)

We also remarked that we were surprised none of the hipster bands had jumped on the 80s jive and covered this song yet. Whelp...they did.

Go get it. It is mellow and fantastic!

Catch up...

I have been very MIA lately. I had a sick kitty, 5 papers, and now finals.

(Yesterday morning I procrastinated by reading the wiki on Sharon Tate and the Manson family. That is pretty desperate. I would not recommend doing it. My alternative was writing my fourth term paper on rape. Ughh.)

Happy St. Patty's day.

(image via all we need is sleep.)

Conversations....

Dude: Do you have guinness?
Bar Dude: We have guinness in a can.
Dude: Yeah can i get a guinness in a can without a glass.
Bar Dude: Do you want a glass with the can?
Dude: Yeah. A glass would be great.

What?!

'tis a beautiful thing

if only i could drop $375 on shoes without blinking.

Conversations...

kate: klaus approaches EVERYONE so much so that we were thinking about training him to not engage with people. like doggie stranger danger.
jess: ha! i love it. doggie stranger danger.
kate:but then the other day he was barking like crazy at this guy who was in a wheel chair and just kept going back and forth in front of me. he had a trash bag tied around his neck and was def a little unstable. i felt bad that klaus was barking.
jess: that is kinda sad. your dog discriminates against the handicapped.
kate: everyday devin says, "kate, how did we get the cutest dog ever??"
jess: i say that about my cats too but then i remember i stole them from their hooker kitty crack mama...and her pimp.

Yes please!

I think my heart exploded when I saw this bag.

xoxox

Barack Obama is your new bicycle.

I found this site today. Maybe I am the last to know about it but I love it anyway.

Plus there are Hilary spinoffs!

Conversation...In my head.

My new downstairs neighbor is loud.

Let's Run Away Pt. 2

Let's run away and build a cabin. There we can make baked scrambles in mini cast iron pans, listen to the new beach house, catch up on the past three months of W, Nylon, Soma and Art in America, take bubble baths and go on walks to pick wild flowers.

No really. Lets!

Conversations...

Jess: I don't play well with others.
Kel: You are doing well right now.
Jess: That's because I like you.
Kel: That's nice.
Jess: And because you are vulnerable right now....and that makes it better.

Recovery.

Thanks to everyone that offered support to Björn in our time of need.

You are all my kitty angels.

He is doing very well.

And his sister is pleased.

ThunderAnt

This is the first time I have laughed since last friday. I found the website for Carrie Brownstien and Fred Armison's comedy duo ThunderAnt.

See videos. Laugh out loud. It's cool...no one is around to see you act like a complete nerd.

(At least that is what I tell myself.)

'we're goin' in an ambulenc-ahh'